Dear Negativity,

You often make yourself home in my mind. I never interfered in between you and my mind. In the hindsight, I always tolerated consequences of love affair between you guys. Now, the time has come to put you guys through a rough breakup. Yes, I cannot take you anymore dear Negativity. Kindly fuck off!

Dear Daily-Soaps,

You are there on t.v when I am most exhausted in day and you have ladies who are horrifically dressed up. I prefer you over news channels as Nirmal Baba is less styled than you. At-least I have choice to comment on your neck-pieces and traditional wear than Nirmal Baba’s. Plus, I can crack double meaning dirty jokes on your pathetic dialogs (which is possible with Nirmal Baba as well but then I do that in commercial break). So Dear Daily soaps, I have decided to prefer terrace walks over you. Kindly RIP.

Dear XYZ,

I know you guys are acting weird. You have fucked up each other’s life as far as I see. Additionally you have done ours too. Do whatever you can but I will not let my peace of mind diminish in anyway. God Bless you two. That is it.

Dear Internet,

I am blessed that I have you in life. Without you, I cannot imagine myself sane enough. Kindly maintain it. I have high hopes from you. Especially the day when I decide to cook and I have to take help from my secretly saved food blogs.

Dear Life,

You are neither bad nor worst. Compared to some fucked up old times, you are indeed quiet behaved now. You also maintain it and Please elate your mood in near future. Grass on my side is greener now and I am roping more. Do take care!

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Ahmedabad Diaries #2

And finding a Den!

So a refreshing nap wakes us up and a nervous family of two daughters and a father starts a run for PG hunt with an agent. He takes us to show some flat first as I was insisting to see flats too. The first flat he showed was near to collapsing. For the first time I felt; how much efforts does it take to make a four wall structure a home. We saw two flats and rejected both.

So he took us to this PG which has rooms of size like a matchbox. I was wondering with what plan in mind this agent was showing this to us. I was disheartened by now and choking while uttering even a yes or no. Then he showed us the last option which was a flat with a family where they gave 2 rooms our of 3 for PG to 7 chicks.

Four in one room and 3 in other. This option was a relief for us, in the hindsight dad, me and sister all agreed at once to book it. Through further talks we got to know, the Man of the house runs the PG and do a share market thing at home. So we can call him house husband. Lady i.e the wife was off to office. They were a south Indian family; something related to Kerela i guess.

He was quiet professional in taking PGs, asked for photographs and offer letter. I never saw this happening in our NCR. Seriously we are so sweet!

OK yeah, it is stupid mostly.

Hence, dad pay him money and informs that we will be shifting tomorrow only. That is when i realise; Shit! I will be alone from tomorrow with Malyalis and Gujaratis.Fuck!

Anyways, I tell myself that I am going to be alone. I can do anything. I can have late nights, I can have endless chats over phone and an endless roaming on streets for shopping.

Voila!!

This makes me fly like a Hawa hawai and we leave for guest house but we take a small walk around guest house and enter a park. The park has gurls roaming alone at night. You got to be kidding me! How can gurls move around so late in night. Dad, me and sister; we three were surprised to the core.

Yes This is Gujarat!

And I, now, welcome myself ..:-)

Ahmedabad Diaries #1

Getting out of home that also for the first time was enough capable to give me no man’s land of imagination power. From ‘Booking tickets for father and sister along with me’ to ‘travelling alone to a country with an official property’ has made me aware how much enigma God fuse into us and about which we are always unsure.

Ahmedabad is such a place in my heart.

In no way it is bitter and in every way it has done some value add to my life. Though I did not quiet much enjoyed the 3-Tier AC ride over night to Ahmedabad for obvious reasons. Considering the Paris Hilton tantrums I carry when it comes to travelling. It was first time I was in Rajdhani that also with father and Sister. Father took care of travel nicely yet we three were like really timid; okay may be not sure about father but me and sister were. So much so that even if we had separate seats to sleep; we decided to settle in one. I pity now her; as we both knew nothng on earth can stop me from sleeping in any given pathetic circumstances; sister did not sleep whole night and managed to perform so many kathakali moves on seat. Anyways, I hardly got disturbed as I was dead asleep.

Train ride makes me remember two passengers who were a father-son duo. The son was wearing gold rings in every possible finger and father had an opinion on every possible discussion. Those two were only entertainment source for me and as my die hard longing; I started analysing both of them and their convo. Perhaps i drilled down to the color of saari which son was about to gift to his sister-in-law. Yes he was a business man and most confus soul on earth. Everybody on train knew that he has not done right while trading ground nut oil with gurgaon dealer as his father was apparently a self declared Arindhum Chaudhary in business and knew that his son is most stupid on earth. He indeed was. The guy who runs on stoned gold rings rather than his own brain is a clear cut Manmohan Singh.

Travel jitters and no man’s land imagination for coming time in Ahmedabad made me drowsy and i felt asleep facing sister feet though It wont be completely wrong that I would have given her face punches later in night with my feet.

The morning came and we finally saw Ahmedabad. It looked normal. Ok lets go ahead and catch an auto or rickshaw. Sigh of relief! They have non-sharing auto. We got in one and headed for guest house address. I saw slum areas, labour class market, IIM, Malls, Mcdonalds, Restaurants and many more thing. Till this time I was terrified to see amount of pollution on road. By now I have created an ugly face of my future Ahmedabad days.

So much so that I started giving myself relaxation that i just have to spend 6 months and then I can take a transfer. Then I thought, I can always take a flight and come back home. Phew! Yes I can do that. Lets relax. We reached guest house. It was ok. The helper there was sweet but i did not like sight of him. He was this close to in looks with Shakuni Mama of mahabharat plus he made bad pohas and bad sandwiches. But lets ignore this, we need to get fresh. We got freshed and slept.

Slept so that we could wake up to find myself a PG.
A PG which has given “will never forget” moments of lifetime.

Story of Verella, Gerella and Rerella!!

Killed it Somewhere

Could not realize how it happened and when I trembled enough to kill it. Still I assume somewhere down inside it is present though; just struggling big time to make myself to come in sync with it. Even a place like Philippines is not shivering me inside. Sitting here past midnight, alone in such a big space, listening to old hindi songs, I am just introducing myself to me. Do I get to familiarize with myself or getting to know a different Gemini. What so ever it is; it is something new and better for a change.

Giving myself nothing but time and little patience. People even great people in my life are no resolute to this. In the end, It is just me who matters. I cannot loose ends again to see the brighter side or get immune to situation.

Field is up clear and so is the heart. The only hope alive with me which is strong enough to fight the whole damn world!

PC Quote

Someday, somewhere – anywhere, unfailingly, you’ll find yourself, and that, and only that, can be the happiest or bitterest hour of your life